by Wee Hamish

There are five of us in my family. We’re doing OK because three of us have jobs, so we really can’t complain, even if the jobs aren’t great and don’t pay a huge amount. We’re not rich, but we’re not struggling as badly as some folk are. Still, things could be better, and I think I know how to take a step up in the world.

I have a friend who voted No in the IndyRef. He’s married but got no kids. Both him and his wife have very well paid jobs. In fact, you could say they’re minted. They’ve got two flashy cars and a big house.

So here’s my great plan. When I meet up with my pal next time, I’m going to suggest Pooling and Sharing. Because my household is larger than his, I’m going to insist he gives me all his money from his salary, his bank interest and his share dividends, along with everything his wife earns. Then I’ll pay them what I think they deserve based on a complicated formula which I’ll work out so that they gets a share of the total income from both families.

Of course, seeing as my house has most people in it, I’ll need to make sure that all our neighbours know we have entered into this fantastic new United Household arrangement. This means my family will need a bigger house, flashy cars, hi-tech gadgets and all the latest mod cons. That’s because we will need to let everyone know the Union of Households works and makes us Great.

Don’t think I’m being cruel here. We’ll all get a good deal out of this arrangement. All important decisions will be made democratically. Everything will be voted on, with my pal and his wife having two votes to add to the five from my family. The only time he and his wife won’t get their own way is if a majority vote goes against them. I can’t see why they might be upset about that.

I think this is a great idea. I wonder if my pal will go for it?