By Rab Bruce’s Spider

After someone leaked a memo to the Daily Telegraph claiming that Nicola Sturgeon had told the French Ambassador that she would prefer to see David Cameron remain as Prime Minister, there was an official Enquiry to track down the source of the leak.

The Enquiry, which involved asking a few questions and checking which phone was used to send the memo to the Daily Telegraph, took six weeks, time during which Alistair Carmichael, the guilty party, was re-elected as MP for the Northern Isles. The only way he can now be removed from office, unless he voluntarily resigns, is for a legal challenge to be made and some voters have established a fundraiser for this purpose. This saga is not yet over and it’s a happy coincidence for Mr. Carmichael that the Enquiry took so long, thereby providing sufficient time for him to retain his Parliamentary seat despite having blatantly lied about his involvement in the so-called FrenchGate affair. But these official Enquiries take time, don’t they?

Well, perhaps not. It seems to depend on what the Enquiry is investigating. Because, after a Royal Navy whistleblower released and 18-page document listing many concerns over the safety of the UK’s Trident nuclear missiles and warheads, an official Enquiry has found that there is no substance to his claims. And this Enquiry took a whole week.

Yes, you read that correctly. It took six weeks to ask, "Whose phone number is this?" but only one week to thoroughly investigate a whole list of issues over checking of security passes, access to nuclear submarines, fire safety procedures, etc. on a naval base with thousands of Services personnel and civilian workers on site.

Of course, one would hope and expect that an Enquiry into the safety of nuclear weapons would be given top priority but it does seem odd that the only thing these two Enquiries have in common is that the length of time it took to complete them just so happened to suit the Westminster Establishment. One allowed a trusted stooge of the Tories to remain in Parliament and the other neatly squashes any further demands for investigation into the safety of trident.

All I can say is that, if you think there is something fishy going on, you’re not alone.