By Wee Hamish

Imagine this. You need a new car. You’ve saved up a couple of grand so you pop down to the local second-hand dealership and talk to a salesman. Let’s call him Michael.

You say, "I need a car, Michael."

He says, "No problem."

Car Michael has got one that is perfect for you. Right price, and it’s got everything you need. Five doors, four wheels and an engine.

Michael tells you it’s had one careful owner, has only done thirty thousand miles and has an MOT for nearly a whole year.

Perfect. So you buy it. And a week later, the engine blows up. When the Insurance evaluator comes out, he discovers that the car is actually a rebuilt wreck which had previously been written off. It had done over 150,000 miles and the MOT Certificate is a fake.

So you take Car Michael to court and sue him.

The judge agrees Michael lied to you but he decides you lose the case because you didn’t specifically ask Michael whether he was a liar and he didn’t specifically tell you he was an honest guy. The judge tells you that you should expect a second-hand car dealer to be a liar so it’s your own fault for believing him.

That couldn’t happen, could it? There are laws against that sort of thing, right?

Right. Unless the Carmichael in question is an MP. Because the same laws don’t apply to MPs. The law, written by MPs, says MPs are allowed to lie to you and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it unless you specifically ask them if they are the sort of person who would lie about whatever it is they are talking about.

That’s your Westminster justice for you, folks.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of it.