By Rab Bruce’s Spider

So Boris Johnson wants to build a bridge between Scotland and Northern Ireland? Coming from a man who couldn’t even build a bridge across the Thames, that’s quite an ambition. However, before we deride the idea, I must say that, in principle, I have no objections to such a bridge as I think it would benefit the economies of both Scotland and Ireland, particularly if it links an independent Scotland with a unified Ireland, with both nations in the EU. Of course, that is the last thing Boris Johnson wants, but it would be nice if the UK paid for the construction of a bridge which was then taken over by Scotland and Ireland.

It’s also very nice to see an avowed Unionist proposing a new bridge since we know from the Queensferry Crossing saga that bridges are anathema to Unionists. Unless, that is, their hatred is only reserved for bridges built under the auspices of the SNP. No, that can’t be right, for it would show them up as being pathetically tribal in their outlook, so I expect to hear howls of outrage from all the Holyrood Unionist Parties and from the media in Scotland.

The main objection I would have to seeing such a project undertaken is that, if it is done under the control of the UK Government, it will turn into another white elephant like HS2, Crossrail and any number of projects which run hugely over budget and take far longer than originally planned. They could, of course, allow the Scottish Government to take over supervision which might give the project a chance of being done properly, but I doubt they’ll even consider that option.

On the whole, though, I’m in favour of a bridge – as long as they make sure it isn’t constantly being accidentally rammed by nuclear submarines.