by Stan Donderite

Is your nation suffering from feelings of loneliness and isolation? Do you feel your neighbours dislike you? Do you want to create a precious union to bolster your feelings of superiority? Here’s how to do it.

Step 1. Build an army.

Step 2. Invade your nearest neighbours and bring them under your direct control.*

Step 3. Make sure you extract all the wealth from your new partner so you can demonstrate how poor and inadequate they are. This will help persuade them that they cannot survive without your benevolent control.

it’s as simple as that.

If you want to be really adventurous and create precious unions with countries all around the world, all you need to do is build a navy to transport your army, then repeat steps 2 and 3 above.

This method has been tried and tested by successive Westminster Governments over several centuries and is recognised all around the world as a proven way to create precious unions.**

*As an alternative, you can try offering bribes to politicians in the country of your choice so they vote themselves out of power and hand control to you, but always be sure to have your bribes backed up by the threat of military invasion.

**At some point, you may need to dissolve the precious union if it becomes more trouble than it is worth. If the natives do become restless, use strong military action to suppress revolt until you have managed to extract everything worthwhile before ceding control back.