By Stan Donderite

Figuring out what politicians really mean when they speak is not easy, so here’s a short compilation of words and phrases which don’t mean what you think they mean. This may help you understand what the politicians and their media lackeys are telling you.


Absolutely not! If you believe what I’ve just said, you’re an idiot.

Die in a ditch

This is a rhetorical device to suggest opposition to something the speaker will go along with without a second thought. See also: Lie in front of the bulldozers.

Get on with the day job

I have run out of arguments and have no positive policies to put forward.

Let me be clear

Let me have a few seconds to figure out how I can waffle my way out of answering that question.

Once in a Generation

Once only. We’re never going to make that mistake again.

Oven Ready

Ha ha! We knew you’d fall for that one.

Taking back control

Keeping all power in our hands so we and our pals can get rich.

Unelected Bureaucrats

Any EU politician. Note: this phrase does not apply to members of the House of Lords.

We’re following the science

We’ve scoured academia to find some scientists who will say what we want them to say.

World Beating

It’s going to be crap, but our pals will make a lot of money from it.